This is not the movie you were looking for

Move along.

Finally, the movie where we find out how do the Sith get revenge, and what are they seeking revenge for! We went to see the big movie at midnight on opening night with all the other nerds. There were plenty of seats available so I'm imagining that most fans will see it later, or are waiting to see if it sucks like the first one. Or it could be just the demographic of the cinema we went to (out of town a little). A couple people dressed up in sad sack costumes, but good on 'em.

The movie is a special effects feast from the very opening scene of a space battle that had both of us going "cool!". There are light sabre battles galore, but unfortunately nothing as good as the extended duel in Phantom Menace, but still passable. Some excellent ideas like the four sabre weilding cyborg.

There are the usual handful planets that have only one type of terrain but seem to be right next to each other because people move amongst them in only a few minutes. Spudmay finds out she is pregnant and has kids in a matter of hours. Gestation period of these aliens is really impressive. Some low points are the cutesy use of R2D2, Darth Vader's "Nooooo!" sounds almost casual, any alleged acting by Natalie Portman and the reason for her death "I'm so sad" (oops, was that a spoiler), the unbelievability of Anakin turning to the dark side and how quickly he takes to killing babies, the last 10 minutes used to wrap everything up for the next movie, the lack of hand rails on high rise balconies.

On a really positive note, we only get one glimpse of Jar Jar. Unfortunately, he doesn't get killed. We can still dream it though.

It is all good fun and recommended viewing even though I never really quite figure out why the Sith required this revenge. In fact, it looked more like a power grab than any need for revenge on anything. "Rise of the Sith" would have been better, or perhaps: "Fall of the Jedi", "The New Sith", "Empire of the Sith", "Jedi get a whuppin'", "Curious Anakin Explores the Darkside", "Those Whacky Sith at it Again", "When Good Jedi Turn Bad".

For those people who buy the DVD for some reason, aparently if you turn the Italian sound track on (and you don't understand Italian) then the movie plays like an opera. Maybe someone could produce a rip with an Italian opera playing underneath. Sweet.

This is the last last movie in the series, at least for a little while. I expect George will go back and muck around with the first three later on. Hopefully erasing certain characters out and adding some fun in.

See all the advertising for Star Wars III where everyone seems to have a light sabre. I guess this is what we are really going to the movies to see, light sabre stuff. The official site light sabre details. Wikipedia has an entry. There is this how stuff works site on how the light sabre works and alternate uses. Comics on failed efforts on building a light sabre, using light sabre skills in job interviews. An independant film on light sabre safety, an action duel, reasons to buy organic food in StoreWars, a kid caught pretending to wield a dual ended sabre. How to add the effect to your own films or just edit one in with Photoshop. Buy your own from ThinkGeek or Hasbro or Parker Sabers or get a remote control. How to build your own or here or here or here.

In III, I noticed that one of the light sabres was pointy. Was it always pointy? I remember the tip being rounded. Those pointy ones could hurt somebody. Also check out Darth Vader's blog. How fans get dressed up. Alternate Star Wars IV slide show. The last supper fan art. As we all know, star wars is a tool of satan. Darth Vader can read your mind! But he can't say "Nooooo!" in anguish very well. And for those of you who have seen that Natalie Portman really can act in Closer: where is Padme?